Poisonous Heart
by ymaxwell39
Summary: This story was inspired by the song lyric "Once I ran to you (I ran), Now I'll run from you, This tainted love you've given, I give you all a boy could give you" from the song Tainted Love by Soft Cell as part of the September 2019 Lyric Llama for the Facebook group Harmony and Co. I claim no ownership of the song. It was used only for inspiration.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowling. I make no money for the writing of this fanfiction

A/N: This story was inspired by the song lyric "Once I ran to you (I ran), Now I'll run from you, This tainted love you've given, I give you all a boy could give you" from the song Tainted Love by Soft Cell as part of the September 2019 Lyric Llama for the Facebook group Harmony and Co. No copyright infringement is intended, and I claim no ownership of the song. It was used only for inspiration for the story.

Poisonous Heart

The weather was gray and gloomy the day it happened. Fitting, really, that the day Harry Potter had an epic argument with his-now former-best friend Hermione Granger in the middle of Diagon Alley that even the weather would be depressing, but he really couldn't take the fact Hermione always spouted facts and figures from books as a way to settle arguments anymore. It didn't matter how much he had come to realize that he loved her, he had to walk away from her, or risk losing even more of his heart and soul to her. Loving Hermione Granger could be, if the person wasn't strong enough to deal with the ups and downs, toxic, tainted, and ultimately poisonous to someone's peace of mind. But Merlin help him, even two years after it happened, he _still_ loved her.

Two Years Earlier

Hermione Granger was just leaving Flourish and Blotts, her arms full of books, and her mind on the meeting being held in the Ministry for all Department Heads later that day. Honestly, half the time she thought back to her years at Hogwarts, because she dearly wanted to ask a few people there, 'Don't you read?' She had rarely run into a situation that good, solid research wouldn't find a solution; one of the ongoing issues was, not many people would listen to her research. It was never clear to her why that was; she made sure all of her facts were checked with multiple sources. Sadly, it _had_ brought about an end to her dating Ronald Weasley within six months of the Final Battle.

But how _else_ was she going to help? Research was something she excelled in, after all.

Harry Potter was just about to enter the bookstore to pick up the latest copy of his favorite Quidditch magazine. His mind was on what needed done before that blasted meeting that afternoon, so he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings. So, Potter luck being what it was, he collided with Hermione. And before he could even attempt to steady her, she fell, her armload of books landing in a heap around her. Oh, this wouldn't be pretty. _Nobody_ got between Hermione Granger and _books_, after all.

"Merlin, Hermione, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Harry asked, reaching to help her to her feet.

"Am I okay? I'm fine; I'm just worried that my books have been ruined. How could you just walk into me like that, Harry? I was right in front of you, and you still managed to knock me over. Yes, you wear glasses, but even _your_ eyesight isn't bad enough to miss seeing me."

"Hermione, please, it wasn't intentional, I was only thinking about today's meeting."

"I've been worried about it myself, which is why I bought these books. I wanted to add a few passages to my notes for the meeting. It wouldn't be right not to have current information for the meeting. One of the topics is the possibility of removing Werewolves from the jurisdiction of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, so I wanted to be prepared."

"Wait, when did that get added as a topic? I don't remember seeing that on the agenda."

"Merlin, Circe, and Morgana! Harry, the updated agenda was sent to the Department Heads _yesterday_. Are you saying you didn't read it?"

"I remember something coming in yesterday. I assumed it was just another list of things Kingsley wants the DMLE to oversee. I was going to look it over after the meeting. So what was added to the agenda beyond the Werewolves?"

Despite the day being gray, there was no wind to signal an approaching downpour of rain, so when an invisible breeze began moving Hermione's hair, Harry took a slow, measured step back.

"Hermione, calm down, please," Harry said, hoping to prevent whatever magical explosion was about to happen.

"Calm down? _Calm down?_ Harry, we aren't in Hogwarts anymore. I shouldn't have to remind you to read something so you're prepared when it comes to parts of your job! I had to do that with Ronald all through school, if you remember. I would have thought-"

"Now just wait a minute, Hermione," Harry said, cutting across what she was saying, and interrupting the head full of steam she was obviously building, "yes, in Hogwarts you helped me a lot with homework and classwork, but I never asked you to do it for me. I'm _not_ Ron, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't start behaving as though you think I am Ron. I might have dated his sister Ginny for a while, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley might still treat me like the boy they met all those years ago, but I always did my best to treat you as well as I could when Ron didn't interfere."

"You always tried to treat me well? Is that what you said? Harry, before you try to say something like that, I think you need to think back and remember how you did treat me. No, you never put me down the way Ronald did sometimes, _but you never stopped Ronald from doing it either_. All I've ever tried to do is help you-"

"Hermione, before you say anything more, I'm stopping this conversation. From what I've seen today, at least one of us needs time away from the other. Whether or not we speak again is something we can work out later, but for right now, I'm done. I've done everything I can to show you I'm your friend and give you the support you needed, especially when you couldn't retrieve your parents, but right now you can't see it. You know where to find me when you've thought things through."

With a small shake of his head, Harry turned and walked away, his steps taking him toward Magical Menagerie.

Watching him walk away, Hermione stared disbelievingly at Harry. How could their friendship have taken this turn?

Present Day

Hermione Granger walked out of the office of the Mind Healer she had been seeing since she and Harry had that argument in Diagon Alley two years before deep in thought. She still had trouble comprehending Harry just walking away from her like that. In fact, the resentment she had about it was something she and her Mind Healer were still working on. It had been explained to her that she had control issues, and that was why she always tried to be the best at everything, in addition to trying to tell the people she knew what she thought they were doing wrong. It was something that could be improved to the point she wasn't constantly attempting to correct others, but she wasn't there yet. At least, that's how her Mind Healer had explained it to her.

_I'm lucky I was able to find a Mind Healer who also had a Muggle degree in Psychology. I'm not sure I could be comfortable with a Mind Healer I couldn't relate to, and I don't think a Mind Healer who didn't have a Muggle degree as well would be able to offer anything but a Wizarding world perspective._

Walking over to the receptionist, she smiled. The woman had always been kind to her, despite some of the days she had come in for an appointment in a bad temper.

"I'd like to set up my next appointment, please, as well as settle my bill for the month."

"Oh, yes, Miss Granger. You did receive our owl about the new billing policy, didn't you?"

"I don't recall. I've been working overtime a lot lately, so haven't been to my flat, and owl post tends to get lost among all of the parchment already on my desk at work."

"Oh, well the new policy states that services from our office are going to increase in cost, as well as a new bill being issued every fortnight, rather than once a month. According to the account manager of the office, and confirmed by the account manager for the office financials at Gringott's, this new policy is more efficient."

"I see. And when does this take effect? Also, how much will the bill for my appointments cost now?"

"The new policy went into effect five days ago. We sent owls to our clients three days before that, so you should have gotten notification last week. As for what the bill will be," here the receptionist picked up Hermione's patient folio and opened it, "you had been paying forty Galleons, sixteen Sickles, and eleven Knuts per month for two appointments each month. That amount has increased to sixty Galleons, four Sickles, and two Knuts per appointment."

Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock. When she was able to speak without sounding like a teenage boy whose voice had begun to crack, she smiled slightly.

"Does the Mind Healer have a sliding scale for patients? I'm not sure I can afford that amount every month."

"There is actually a program you can apply to for assistance with the cost, Miss Granger. I'll get you the parchments to do so. They'll need to be completed and submitted before your next appointment in three weeks."

"Thank you. I'll take care of this soon."

In his office inside the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Harry Potter looked over the recent letters he had received. Some were simply from friends who were sending him details of what was happening in their lives, and some were business letters he usually handled during his lunch breaks and days off, as they had to do with the House of Potter. One letter in particular caught his attention:

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_As you know, the House of Potter assists with the cost of Mind Healing sessions following your defeat of Tom Marvolo Riddle for those witches and wizards who cannot afford the cost themselves._

_There are several clients of our office at this time that have been given the parchments to submit for this assistance. I ask that you please consider each carefully, as the clients have been much improved by the appointments with our office. These clients have all been given three options: to submit applications for assistance, stopping sessions with a Mind Healer, or admission to the charity section of St Mungo's for long term care, which, they have been informed, would also remove their option to stop treatment, since it would then be the decision of the ward Healers at St Mungo's when they were allowed to leave. All have chosen to ask for assistance with the cost of treatment with our office._

_Wishing you a pleasant day,_

_Lilian Irene Smythe_

_Receptionist_

_Office of Mind Healer Adam Bode_

As he looked over the applications, he was startled to see Hermione Jean Granger listed as one of the applicants. It had been two years since he'd last spoken to her outside of work, and he'd never even considered she might be seeing a counselor. Thinking back to their years in school, he surmised she would rather not be admitted to St Mungo's, and if she was actually seeking help, he wanted to make sure she was still able to see someone. He placed her application in the 'approve for assistance' pile, and went to the next application. He made a mental note to let the receptionist know that the assistance for Hermione was to be anonymous, since a few of the people he assisted this way were told who had helped them, judging by all of the 'thank you' letters he received each quarter.

Two weeks later, Hermione walked into the office of the Mind Healer and went to the receptionist's desk.

"Ah, Miss Granger, I was just about to send you an owl."

"Oh? Has a decision been reached on my application for assistance with the fees?"

"Yes there has. It was decided in your case that the portion of the bill you are responsible for will remain the same as the amount you were paying before the new policy took effect. Any amount over that will be covered through this program for you. However, to remain eligible for the assistance, you must follow the Mind Healer's course of treatment for you. If there is something you truly don't agree with, you can of course bring that to the attention of the Healer, but you are still required to follow the final decision of the Mind Healer."

"I understand, and thank you."

While she waited for her appointment, Hermione thought back to the last two years. She had been so sure she had to be right all the time, that she never really thought about the way her friends had their own thoughts, feelings and opinions. Maybe now she was finally ready to begin to let go of the control in a small way.

OoOoOoO

It was pure chance that it happened, since Harry never came to this section of the Ministry with any regularity. However, just as he was leaving the Improper Use of Magic office, he bumped into someone carrying a large stack of folios. Potter luck being what it was, both he and the person he bumped into fell, and the stack of folios went sliding across the floor. He began picking up the folios even as he started talking.

"Merlin, I'm sorry. I guess I was distracted. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Harry, and thank you for helping me pick these up. I need to get these sorted before the next Wizengamot session."

The voice was one Harry had thought he wouldn't hear again. Raising his head, he looked into a pair of whiskey colored eyes he'd given up on seeing.

"Hermione?"

"I want to thank you, Harry. You walking away from me that day forced me to take a good look at my life and attitudes. I may not be to the point that I know I'm not always right about everything, but I'm getting there. My Mind Healer says it's a work in progress; I didn't learn the behavior overnight, so _unlearning_ it will take time. Do you think you can give our friendship another chance? Maybe, with time, something more, even?"

"I think that could be something that is possible. We'll just take it slow, and rebuild our friendship first."


End file.
